By David Stenhouse

My wife and I drove a cardboard popup of Johnny Depp across the U.S., taking photos of it along the way in random spots and with a few people we met. As a celebration of our 30th year of marriage and the desire to do something a bit different, Shay and I hit the road for Central Florida to visit our daughter Tera and son-in-law Neal.

Shay and I passed the point in life where Tera has graduated college, started a new career, and marriage to our wonderful son-in-law. The couple starting a new life moving to Florida in 2021. Now, the final shutting down of our daughter’s bedroom in our house and removal of her items begins. This is the point where decisions are made on which mementos are kept, donated, and transferred to her new life.

Let’s Do Something Different

Tera became a Pirates of the Caribbean fan once the original movie was released. Of course her favorite actor was Johnny Depp portraying his character Captain Jack Sparrow. She ended up with a full-sized cardboard cutout movie poster of the character, displaying it in her upstairs bedroom. Once she left for college, graduated, and moved across the country for her new life, she visited our Sammamish, Washington home less frequently. Captain Jack found himself folded up in her closet along with other items she didn’t want to donate or throw away.

ADDITIONAL PHOTO GALLERY - Captain Jack Crosses America

Watching the anniversaries pile up past our 30th without any significant trips, a decision was made to do something we had spoken about for years—drive across the U.S.. Shay thought since we were driving to Florida in a Chevy Suburban, we should transport some of Tera’s belongings to her. When I found out my wife wanted to include Captain Jack, an idea was born. I wanted to get photos of him in random spots across America and then write about it. Here we are.

We run our own business as a sole source of income, so just up and leaving takes strategic planning. As we have both reached our 50s with the business retaining great clients we have loosened some of our own restrictions. This spring I decided we were going on a very long road trip to visit the kids, traversing the U.S. While I have visited most of America, Shay hadn’t seen much of it. In 2015, I drove Tera’s car to Florida so she could be mobile during her time working at Disney World, so the experience wasn’t new. The drive takes days but it’s fun if you’ve never seen America by road. It was time for Shay to experience it with me.

A Husband & Dad’s Evolution

Shay and I had our daughter at a young age, growing up in Chelan, Washington, a town of around 3,000 people nestled in North Central Washington State. By our wedding date I had been been out of college for over a year, a Trooper patrolling the highways in Snohomish County, Washington. Shay had graduated from college one week prior to our wedding. Two months into our marriage we found out our daughter was on the way. I didn’t take the surprise well.

What a man is supposed to do as a new dad did not happen for me at first. In a two year span I had gone from a college graduate, to working in a new career, to being married, and then a dad. As life goes, it wasn’t the route I expected, yet my decisions were definitely at cause for the outcomes I had experienced. I thank God for the decisions I made to start this wonderful life Shay and I have experienced.

The toddler years, grade school, middle school, and the high school years, only to be followed by college. Boyfriends and friends that I wanted to strangle (along with other parents), part-time jobs, slamming of doors, and blaring music from the upstairs. Good and bad decisions as a Dad, years later apologizing for many of my parenting and marriage mistakes, learning that being sorry doesn’t mean anything unless actual steps are made to change. Watching Tera start her career, multiple moves back and forth across this wonderful country, and eventually marrying Neal. This has been an experience that has ended up with Shay and I living 3,000 miles away from the kids. I wouldn’t change anything.

Tera owes us nothing, and I expect nothing from her husband Neal other than to be a protective partner. As parents we have believed that our role was to make sure she had tools in place to navigate life dependent on no one. That required strict rules and depriving her of niceties that many of her friends enjoyed during her formative years. We will always be her parents but our parenting is a thing of the past.

Captain Jack Makes Friends

Morris, Carolyn, Norman, and Kim in Rock Springs, Wyoming

The cardboard cutout is not the most sturdy of objects. Wherever we went, the wind was blowing. The U.S. was experiencing a winter blast that didn’t cooperate with Captain Jack’s slight frame. As we cruised the Suburban across the U.S., I made stops anywhere I thought was a good American representation. It didn’t start so smoothly, though.

At a stop on Coffin Road near the Tri Cities, Washington, a wind gust ripped Captain Jack in half, sending his bottom part cart wheeling down the road. Holding the top half, I was in a sprint to catch him. A random witness may have thought, “What in the world?”. Feeling as if I had destroyed one of Tera’s childhood friends, I assured my wife that I would fix the damage. A trip to Walmart to buy packing tape and a pair of scissors brought our favorite pirate back to life. Note to self: do not haul Johnny out to snap photos in high winds—he’s pretty much a sail.

The U.S. is filled with endless scenic areas and interesting people. Let me be clear; I am not a social butterfly. I prefer to be a spectator. However, my careers have put me into roles where I am forced to meet and speak with unfamiliar people. Walking up to people and asking them to take a photo with a cardboard cutout isn’t the optimal scenario to make new friends. However, as my salesman Dad once told me, “everyone has a story”. You just have to dig it out of them and then you’ll find out people are the same everywhere you go. They are born, have dreams, have a career, and maybe raise a family. Everyone experiences some sort of hardship, success, happiness, and sadness.

Shay and I met Christina in Twin Falls, Idaho, as she served us breakfast in the hotel restaurant. We didn’t speak to her much during our interaction, however learned that she took pride in her work, being at the hotel for the past two years. When I had to run down to the vehicle, I pulled Captain Jack out and placed him in a side lobby. Seeing what I was doing, Christina asked me if I wanted a photo with “my friend”. I said, “no, but how about you?”, telling her what we were trying to do. Christina had no problem, allowing me to snap a quick photo.

In Rock Springs, Wyoming, I didn’t have to work hard to meet someone new. Morris, a spry 88-year-old man (who still plays tennis!) from Oxford, Mississippi, was traveling with his wife, daughter, and son-in-law—traversing the U.S. in reverse of our path—visiting kids and grandkids in Portland, Oregon with a stop in Salt Lake City, Utah. Morris struck up a conversation with Shay and I with the rest of his family showing up and talking with us. What a nice group, all with a sense of humor. Shay and I were so happy our paths crossed, as the family allowed me to snap a photo of them with Captain Jack.

captain jack sparrow anthony williams grenada ms — Anthony in Grenada, Mississippi

In Grenada, Mississippi, I started a conversation with Anthony at hotel reception. An imposing figure at 6’8”, he was fun to speak with. A Navy veteran and son of a current Naval Captain, I found out Anthony had played basketball in a small Alabama school, and later on a Navy travel team. He gave me information about the area and let me know why he lived in Grenada. Family loves Central Mississippi and he wanted to be in the area. He put his arms around Captain Jack and never had a problem with me posting the photo. Another friendly person now a part of the journey.

Changes Made

Weather altered our route a bit which would be expected in a November. We experienced snow in Branson, Missouri and the drive through Northern Arkansas. A blanket of snow enhances the beauty of any landscape like a fresh paint job, however when I’m trying to cover distance it’s not helpful. This was an adventure, so I slowed the truck a bit to enjoy the scenery.

I kept asking my wife, “Are you enjoying this?” throughout the country’s traversal. Shay has interests different than mine and I have finally acknowledged that fact. I have now grown to appreciate her ability to find joy in the simple pleasures of life. Yes, she was enjoying this journey. I had once watched her being connected to an IV prior to minor surgery. “Just another adventure”, I said. Shay responded, “I want a fun adventure”, sparking laughter between us. Humor in a hospital. We knew ourselves—most of our lives has been tied to work. Our idea of fun is to be doing whatever exists that isn’t work at the time.

A friend told me years ago that we were lucky to have our daughter early, knowing Tera was already out of college and his kids were still very young. I didn’t think that during the 90s, not understanding my role until years later—a role of a man that takes care of his family first. It took years of mistakes (some small and yet some enormous) to fully understand what my job really is: the safety and well-being of my wife and daughter. Life is not about me.

Changing into being a parent without the parenting may seem difficult to some, but for me it’s been easy. It has taken a stress off of Shay and I. While I have moments where my mouth wants to share an opinion or offer unsolicited advice, my brain now shuts it down (not always, but it is diminishing!). It’s been a process.

Captain Jack arrives at his new home in Central Florida.

At Utah’s Bonneville Salt Flats, I had pulled Captain Jack out of the truck to snap a shot and enjoy the scenery and spotted a young couple with their dog taking photos together against a background of water. Wondering where the couple were in their relationship, it reminded me of Shay and I taking a 2-year-old Tera to the waterfront park in Mukilteo, Washington. The life of a young couple is to be one of pure enjoyment, dreams, and dependance on one another. It is a foundation-building time.

Shay and I are saying goodbye to the life where we direct, to one where we spectate. Much like a football player that grows up playing the game, outgrows the playing role, and moving on to coaching younger players. The coach finally retires and now sits in the stands.

We are now cheering on the home team and we took Captain Jack along to celebrate.

ADDITIONAL PHOTO GALLERY - Captain Jack Crosses America

Carrying around a camera since childhood, David Stenhouse has a love for capturing and writing about machines, people, and the U.S.A.. He is now so blessed to spend each day running a business with his best friend, high school sweetheart, and wife, Shay.

You can follow David on Twitter.